My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he’d
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
threw it
in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and
said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one
out too then,
‘cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
************************
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note
from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by
this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”
*************************
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old
daughter to answer the phone. It’s the minister (priest),
Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy
can’t come to the
phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
**************************
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women’s
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,
with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy
watched
in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t
you ever seen a little boy before?”
**************************
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary
school I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up
and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes,” I
answered and
continued writing the report. “My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?” “Yes,
that’s right,” I told
her. “Well, then,”she said as she extended her foot toward
me, “would you please tie my shoe lace?”
*****************************
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in
front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9
partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a
dog you
got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
“What’d he do?”
******************************
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my
afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One
day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced
myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never
believe this!”
*************************
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,
our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made
his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a
dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they
had
secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and
made ready
for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was
chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned
his version of what he thought his father always said:”Glory be
unto the
Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn……. and into the hole he
gooooes.”
*************************
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.”I’m
just
wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I
can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”
*************************
AND THIS ONE TAKES THE C A K E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as
he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of
the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw
was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama,
look what I found”, the boy called out.
” What have you got there, dear?”
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I
think it’s Adam’s underwear!”
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